Life’s pretty simple when you’re a swimsuit, especially when you’re me. I’ve wound up my sides to give you 14cm of real estate on your hips and a single front panel that is fully lined.
New scientific research has demonstrated a clear link between improved athletic performance in the water when multiple cacti are applied to sensitive parts of the swimmer’s body. The athlete’s performance was mainly attributed to an elevated heart rate which resulted from extreme pain, anger, and a desire to destroy the cacti-infused garment being worn at the time. We are working on a race suit with the same technology to help power swimmers to new world and Olympic records.
